Lesson
Two: Contribution and Diversity
The Admissions Essay Prep Leader shares essay writing strategies and
samples
that will help you gain entrance to your first choice business school.
For more free essay writing advice and for help with your
admissions essay, visit EssayEdge.com |
|
 |
Business School Statement Strategies |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Contribution
and Diversity
Your
background, experiences, and values will enhance and diversify
Kellogg. How? (1-2 double-spaced pages)
The
Darden School seeks a diverse and unique entering class of
future managers. How will your distinctiveness enrich our
learning environment and enhance your prospects for success as
a manager?
Every
essay question on the admissions application is geared toward
the same thing. Committee members want to find out who you are,
what makes you different from everyone else, and how you will
contribute to the school if accepted. This question asks these
things outright. Because it asks so directly what the admissions
committee wants to know, this is one of the most common
questions you will find. The question has a structure similar to
the Why M.B.A.? question. It asks both Why us? and Why you?
However, the nature of this question lends itself to a more
personal response. Whereas the Why M.B.A.? question asks what
you have done, what you want to do, and how that relates to the
school, this question asks about who you are and how it relates
to the school. The Why M.B.A.? question asks about your
experiences, and this question asks about your qualities.
Just as
you brainstormed about your experiences, actions, and goals for
the first question, brainstorm about your qualities and
characteristics for this one. What sets you apart from everyone
else? What words do friends and family use to describe you? For
some people, the focus of this question will come easily. A
minority can choose to focus on their racial or ethnic
differences. A person with an unusual professional background
may use this question to turn this potential weakness into a
strength. Anyone with a particular talent or calling, such as an
athlete or a musician, can use that as a topic. Less obvious
characteristics can work just as well. Are you one of those
people who are forever getting tagged with an identity? Do
people say, “You know Chuck, the funny one,” or “There’s
Jane, the history buff.”
If you
consider yourself to be a fairly typical candidate with a broad
range of interests, you may feel nervous about not being able to
identify yourself with any one particular activity or defining
trait. You should not be worried. Listing the combination of
qualities that make you unique is perfectly acceptable. None of
your qualities has to be particularly unique by itself-whatever
is real and true will work perfectly. What words do people use
to describe you? Are you a risk taker? An academic? A leader?
Unusually goal oriented? Dedicated? Ethical? A good team player?
The
qualities you choose to describe are not nearly as important as
how well you back them up. Because this answer tends to contain
many adjectives, you absolutely must provide solid examples
demonstrating each quality you have listed. You can take
examples from either your work or your personal life. You can
even be creative and take an example from your childhood, if you
wish, as long as whatever you choose effectively proves that you
are what you say you are.
Because
this question asks “How will you contribute to our school?”
it provides you with a perfect opportunity to prove that you
have researched and targeted yourself to the particular school.
Match your distinctiveness in whatever way is natural to the
distinctiveness of the program. Show the admissions committee
that you are not just perfect for business school in general,
you are perfect for their business school.
SAMPLE ESSAY:
Note: This essay appears unedited for instructional purposes. Essays edited
by EssayEdge are substantially improved. For samples of
EssayEdge editing, please visit EssayEdge.com.
Your
background, experiences, and values will enhance the diversity
of Kellogg’s student body. How?
During my
senior year in college, my father was diagnosed with terminal
skin cancer. Like most cancer patients, he spent the majority of
his time in the hospital; he often spoke of how nice the staff
was, and how much his stay was enriched by the services offered
by the volunteers. I felt a great debt to those people who
helped my father and mother during that difficult time, and I
wanted to do the same for other people in similar situations.
When I
moved to New York after graduation, I decided to volunteer at
the Sloan-Kettering Memorial Hospital until I found a job. Over
the next few months, I worked thirty hours a week helping
patients and their families. One of the most rewarding
experiences at the hospital was organizing patient voting for
the 1992 Presidential election. I was responsible for
coordinating the procurement and distribution of absentee
ballots with nurses, patients, hospital staff, and the various
voting administrations within the five boroughs of New York
City.
The
response was overwhelming. The patients were overjoyed to be
included in the voting process. I knew from my father that the
most demoralizing circumstance of a prolonged hospital stay was
the feeling that the world was passing you by. On that November
day, however, I was able to help those patients feel like part
of society again. I will always be grateful for that.
Once I
found a job, I had to curtail my hours at the hospital, but I
did not stop my volunteer work. And although my job prohibits me
from volunteering as much as I’d like, I still try to find the
time. My volunteer work has allowed me to help others cope with
the terrible pain of illness, which I have experienced
first-hand and through my family. The satisfaction that I gain
when I help patients and their families is unlike any other
feeling I have ever had in my life.
I’ve
found that my work also helps me to deal with and accept the
loss of my own father. If it were not for him, I never would
have started volunteering. The good work I do is a constant
tribute to his memory.
As an
individual, I have learned the benefits of altruism, and I
firmly believe that companies should also take an active role in
philanthropy. I was pleased to see in the admissions brochure
that other Kellogg students feel the same, as demonstrated by
their Business with a Heart program. I know that my unique
perspective and experiences would contribute to this group, and
enable me to enrich the lives of the community as well as those
of my fellow students.
COMMENTS:
This
essayist is a good example of someone who chose to focus on one
trait rather than several. By choosing only one quality, her
essay is concise, to the point, and easy to read. She also
leaves a strong impression by introducing only one theme. This
essay is particularly strong because the writer does not simply
label herself as a volunteer and leave it at that. She makes the
topic personal. First, she walks us through her motivation, then
through the experience itself, and finally through how it has
affected her and made her different. She gives details to bring
each of these steps alive but manages to do so in a very short
amount of space. She even specifically details how this
experience will help her contribute by listing the name of the
program she has targeted.
From
ESSAYS THAT WILL GET YOU INTO BUSINESS SCHOOL, by Amy Burnham,
Daniel Kaufman, and Chris Dowhan. Copyright 1998 by Dan
Kaufman. Reprinted by arrangement with Barron's
Educational Series, Inc.
© Copyright 2002-2017 MBA Programs - All Rights Reserved
|