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Describe
the two accomplishments that occurred in the last five years
of which you are most proud. (Columbia)
Describe
your three most substantial accomplishments, and explain why
you view them as such. (Harvard)
Describe
your achievements within the last five years that are good
indicators of your potential for a successful management
career and why you view them as such. (Michigan)
What is
your most valued accomplishment? Why? (Kellogg)
Your
answer to this question will say a lot more about you than
simply what you have accomplished. It will show the committee
what you value, what makes you proud, and what you are capable
of accomplishing. Applicants make a common mistake when
answering this question-they repeat information found elsewhere
in the application. A good student, for example, will be tempted
to fall back on stressing his or her high G.P.A. or G.M.A.T.
score. A person who has won a number of awards or
acknowledgments will try to include all of them and end up
turning their essay into little more than a prose list. Many of
the questions specify that you choose one, two, or three
specific accomplishments as a way of avoiding this kind of
response.
If you do
choose an accomplishment that the committee is already aware
of-such as your induction into Phi Beta Kappa or a promotion
that appears on your resume-then bring the experience alive.
Demonstrate what it took to get there and how it affected you
personally. Do not be afraid to show committee members that you
are proud. This is not the place for modesty. However, do not
fall to the other extreme either-you can toot your own horn, but
do it without being didactic or preachy. You will not have to
worry about either extreme if you keep your essay short and to
the point. Spend the bulk of your essay simply telling the
story.
If you are
having trouble choosing something to focus on, then remember
that the best essays are often about modest accomplishments.
What you accomplished does not matter as long as you found it
personally meaningful and can make it come alive. Unless
specified, the accomplishment can be professional, personal, or
academic. Did you get a compliment from a notoriously
tight-lipped, hard-driving manager? Did you lose the race but
beat your own best time? As an English major, did you work
around the clock to bring a C in physics up to an A? Do not
think about what they want to hear-think about what has really
made you proud.
SAMPLE
ESSAY:
Note: This
essay appears unedited for instructional purposes. Essays edited
by EssayEdge are substantially improved. For samples of
EssayEdge editing, please visit EssayEdge.com.
Describe
the two accomplishments that occurred in the last five years of
which you are most proud. (Columbia)
Strategic
Advisory for American Savings Bank
In January
1994, my group was engaged by Robert Bass’ Keystone Partners
to evaluate their investment in California company, the
culminating point of a five-year banking relationship. Keystone
Partner however, engaged Goldman Sachs as co-advisor, thereby
infuriating the Lehman team. We swore to keep control of the
valuation process by solely handling the modeling work including
complex simulations and projections, which I was solely
responsible for. I quickly drafted a couple of pages that I
distributed to both teams. Overnight, the Goldman team
reproduced them line by line and sent them directly to the
client as their work. It was a great strike against our team. I
decided to design a completely different model, and to draw upon
the information that I could gather from a long and fruitful
client relationship with Lehman Brothers. I convinced the senior
vice president, vice president and associate who had covered the
company for years to pass on their knowledge, persuaded them to
be available for 36 hours straight to answer all my questions,
and for four more hours to be trained by me on the model. I
designed a 23 page model, stuffed with information, that we
presented to the 42 person working team, gathered at our
request. The presentation, led by myself for technical
explanations and the senior vice president for strategic
conclusions, was a great success. The Goldman Senior Partner,
recognizing the “excellency” of our model, proposed that I
remain in charge of “all the number”.
I value
this experience because I gained respect from the senior
executives at all three firms. But most of all, although one of
the most junior banker, I was able to inspire a cohesive spirit
to our team in pursuing our goal to produce a high quality
presentation.
Learning
to Surf
My move to
Los Angeles in August 1992 represented not only a great
professional challenge-to work with only two senior bankers and
cover all California financial institutions-but also a personal
opportunity, a chance to broaden my horizons. I grew up in Paris
and lived in the capital for 21 years before moving to New York;
I definitely was a city girl! Los Angeles demanded however that
I adapted to a whole different world, where sport rather than
opera rhythms the season. I knew that my first year in the Los
Angeles office would be extremely busy due to the small size of
my group. In fact I averaged 90 hours of work per week that
year. To keep my sanity and maintain a good spirit, I resolved
to try and learn a sport that had always fascinated me: surfing.
Thus I bought a brand new wetsuit and longboard and started the
experience bright and early on a sunny Saturday afternoon under
the merciless scrutiny of the local surfers, all males, who did
not hide their contempt for my pale skin and weak arms so
typical of investment banking Corporate Analysts. Surfing seemed
at first an impossible mission: my board always mysteriously
rebounded on my head, while the waves would break exactly where
I was paddling. At work, there was an explosion of laughter when
I proudly exposed my (only) personal project: why, a twenty-six
year old Parisian, surfing? This had to be French humor! I
resolved however to practice every week-end before coming into
the office. Last summer, I finally stood up on my board and rode
the wave to the beach. It was one of the most exhilarating
moments of my life and although I still surf regularly, nothing
matches my first wave nor the pride that I felt. Because I
received little help and encouragement but prevailed, I cherish
this experience which was actually a tremendous confidence
builder.
COMMENTS:
The writer
demonstrates a nice balance between her professional and her
personal achievements. Her first accomplishment shows the
essayist to be a savvy business professional and highlights her
good political sense, dedication, and technical skill. The
second accomplishment rounds out the image by painting a picture
of a young, healthy, active woman willing to take risks and
learn new skills at the expense of laughter and embarrassment.
The latter may have been a personal achievement, but these
translate into very lucrative professional skills as well.
From
ESSAYS THAT WILL GET YOU INTO BUSINESS SCHOOL, by Amy Burnham,
Daniel Kaufman, and Chris Dowhan. Copyright 1998 by Dan
Kaufman. Reprinted by arrangement with Barron's
Educational Series, Inc.